Now Playing Tracks

raiona:

So I was looking at lion shirts when I found myself looking at this glorious piece of apparel. It may look like just a narwhal shirt, but wait until you read the reviews. 

  • I purchased this shirt to inspire confidence and wisdom in myself when faced with brutal tests. I rate it five stars because it is lusciously comfortable without sacrificing its sagely, worldly air of superiority and excellence.       
  •  I would recommend this product to all persons interested in frequent sexual tsunamis.
  • The 83rd Happiest day of my life
  • Get this shirt and prepare to start living the life you’ve always imagined!!!!
  • Pros: Tastes just like it looks.

And the single one star review

  • I thought these were whales with crazy-ass claymores or spears or something shooting from their mouths, but when the shirt arrived I looked closer and saw they were just some chubby, glorified sea porpoises with with unicorn horns attached to their snouts. Put it under a black light—nothing. Not even something cool like blood dripping from their spikes. I checked online: these narwhals can’t jump out of the ocean and spear sailors or crap, and not one Narwhal has impaled a human being. Thanks, but I’ll wait for the killer whales that can shoot spears out of their mouths t-shirt.       
To Tumblr, Love Pixel Union